Dr. Phil Article
In the May 17, 2009 edition of Parade, which was an insert in the Lexington Herald-Leader, there was an encouraging article by Dr. Phil McGraw titled, “We Can Get Through This Together.” In the article, Dr. Phil writes of the many e-mail’s he’s received from individuals and families who are suffering due to this country’s economic woes. After sharing a few examples of e-mails he’s received, Dr. Phil suggested 4 ways to help families cope with their situations.
- Forgive yourself. The fact that you may be having financial problems does not suggest you are inadequate in any way. In fact, you still have the same talents and abilities you’ve always had. The only difference is that you’re faced with conditions that are most often out of your control. Therefore, don’t blame yourself!
- You’re not alone. Don’t let shame and guilt lead you to withdrawing from others. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. That’s what family, friends, churches and communities are for. Dr. Phil stated in the article that an unexpected benefit of the Depression was that neighbors bonded and helped one another in all sorts of ways.
- Focus on the present. Don’t live in the past or waste time playing the victim. Your focus is needed on your current situation.
- Make the hard decisions. You have to do whatever it takes to get your family through whatever situation they’re in. Dr. Phil suggests that there’s nothing you shouldn’t consider when you’re in survival mode. That may mean giving up some of life’s “luxuries” such as nice cars, expensive vacations, designer clothing, etc… Focus on priorities and don’t be too proud to work at a job that you may feel is not using your skills.
Before wrapping up the article, Dr. Phil also discusses a “silver lining” that can come from situations such as the current economic woes. He also discusses how families, especially spouses, often blame one another for the situation they may be in. I’d like to throw in a personal situation here to illustrate what he’s saying.
A few years back, my oldest son became ill with a “brain bleed.” His illness is commonly known as an AVM, or Arterior Venous Malformation, and is similar to an aneurysm. This situation catapulted our family into crisis mode on many levels. Life as we knew it came to a screeching halt! My wife and I both took extended leave at our jobs and lived full-time with our son in the hospital for nearly 2 months. As a family, we were faced with many uncertainties about the future. Most importantly,…would our son make it through this situation? Once were assured that he would, the questions of how he’d be affected long-term began to settle in. There were questions after questions that we were faced with as a family and there were many days in which we wondered about our future together. We didn’t doubt our commitment to one another, but we were also very aware that people often make irrational decisions during stressful situations.
I could write many paragraphs about all that we went through, but it wouldn’t help enhance the point of this passage. Instead, let me just say that we clung to one another as a family during this difficult time. It wasn’t always easy because as individuals who are often selfish by nature, we could have responded in so many different ways than we did. I am very thankful that we didn’t give up on each other and that all in all, we endured this crisis that we were faced with. Despite all that happened to our son, we are still able to look back on the situation as a positive one in that we were able to reconnect on so many levels as a family. We were able to step aside from the busy and often hectic pace of the routines that so many of us call life. We took walks together and cherished quiet times just reading or playing games as a family. To this day, we are better because of it.
In closing, I want to encourage anyone who’s reading this to cling to your family and friends during what is considered to be a difficult time in our country. Focus on your priorities and don’t give in to making irrational decisions in the midst of a crisis. As Dr. Phil’s title to his article suggests…you can get through this together!
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